Does it matter who you marry?
“You must not take a wife from the Canaanite women.” — Genesis 28:1
In Genesis 28, Isaac sends Jacob away with fatherly advice: “You must not take a wife from the Canaanite women.” While it may seem like it on the surface, this was not about race, appearance, or culture. Later in the bible we meet two women, Rahab who was a Canaanite and Ruth who was a Moabite, yet both were welcomed into God’s people by faith and included in the line of Jesus. The issue highlighted here was worship. Isaac wanted Jacob to understand that marriage is not spiritually neutral. The person you marry will help shape your worship, your home, your children, and your future.
That is wisdom we need to pass on to our children and grandchildren. In a world that tells them to look first for attraction, success, popularity, or how someone makes them feel, we need to gently and consistently teach them to ask a deeper question: Does this person love Jesus more than they love me?
Marriage is more than romance. It is a covenant union before God. Husband and wife share a home, a direction, a future, habits, values, and the spiritual formation of children. That is why Scripture warns, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). We should teach our children to look for fruit, not merely feelings; character, not merely charm; faithfulness, not merely compatibility.
But we should teach this as wisdom, not panic. The goal is not to control our children’s choices, but to shape their hearts so they desire what is good. We pray early. We speak openly. We model Christ-centred marriage where we can. We ask wise questions before emotions become too entangled.
And for those whose stories are already painful, there is grace. Monica, the mother of Augustine, reminds us that God can work through tears, prayers, and long faithfulness. So let us pray for our marriages, our children, and their future spouses, trusting not in our perfect decisions, but in Jesus, the perfect Saviour who redeems broken stories.
